“There is no loftier mission than to approach the Godhead more nearly than other mortals, and by means of that contact to spread the rays of the Godhead through the human race.” – Ludwig von Beethoven
This quote has been my inspiration my whole life. Nothing encapsulates what I feel my calling is quite so well. It is my mission in life to get as close to the Divine as I can and then share what I discover with others.
When I was young I thought I would accomplish this through my art. I would create images that captured the divine and that would be enough. Later when I became a mystic I thought it would be through a divine revelation. Now as a magician I am amazed at how literally I am living this quote. I meet the divine in its many faces, catch a piece of that energy and then attune others to it, literally spreading the rays of the Godhead through the human race.
I still look for divine revelations and seek for the truth. And maybe one day I will create art that will convey what I have “seen.” Those are all still part of the calling I think.
Because I do believe we all have a calling. Some mission or job that we are supposed to accomplish while we are here and we are each individually qualified for that calling. I am a spiritual seeker and an explorer and something of a teacher.
I think a lot of problems come from people not knowing what they are supposed to do or when we compare ourselves to someone with a different calling. I am not a great card reader. I’ll never be as good at that as other people who are called to do that work. I tried doing rituals for people briefly, but hated pretty much every moment of it while I have a friend who probably works over twenty hours a day doing ritual work to help people. He’s so joyful about it and I can feel like a real slacker when I think of all the good he’s doing for people. But that’s not my calling. And it’s not an excuse to say that. I am simply not built to do what he does. That’s ok. Because he can’t do what I do, at least not as well and he wouldn’t be happy doing it. He’d feel like he was doing something wrong. Something he wasn’t supposed to be doing.
So this is why I say no when people ask me for ritual help. This is why I don’t do readings. It’s not because I don’t care, I do. It kills me to not be able to help everyone who needs help. But there are other people who do that kind of work, and do it so much better than I would be able to. You wouldn’t go to an lawyer if you needed a heart transplant. Coming to me for help is like going to a sailor when you need a doctor.
Something else that should probably be said. I’m not a saint or a messiah. I’m not anywhere near perfect and I’m not going to single handedly save the world or anyone. I hope to one day have a clearer picture of “the Godhead” and I may well create a map to help people get there themselves. I’m not trying to be Jesus, I don’t want to be worshipped. And I’m not a cosmic Luke Skywalker who is fighting astral battles to defeat some dark spiritual empire. I’m just a guy trying to figure out the fastest route from here to there so I can help some people get there faster. That’s my mission.